The realization...

finally hit me. Or more accurately, I decided to be honest with myself. But, I have to write the history to explain the realization. Long, sad post(as most are these days)....reader beware.

In February of last year, I investigated a case of medical neglect. A mom took her three year old daughter to the emergency room because her arm was hurting her. Upon x-raying the arm, the doctors' found a healing fracture. By their estimates, the break was approximately a week old. They didn't believe it was abuse, but that mom didn't bring her in right away. During my investigation, I went back and forth between substantiating the neglect, and not. The mom, the nine year old sibling to the little girl, and the little girl's grandmother all made statements that the little girl showed no discomfort until that morning.

The mom stated that she suspected that the little girl jumped off the bunk bed and landed wrong, bracing herself on her hands when she jumped. The orthopedic specialist confirmed that the fracture could have happened that way. The mom also stated that when the little girl would get hurt, she wouldn't cry the way other kids did, so she suspected that was why she didn't know the little girl's arm was broken.

The specialist thought that was suspect, saying that she believed that the injury would have been extremely painful and the little girl should have cried from the beginning.

So. Why did the mom wait? There are several possibilities....one would be that due to financial strains, didn't take the little girl in right away. Two~religious reasons would prevent a family from seeking medical attention. Three~the mom, or someone she was protecting, broke the arm.

Well, the mom took the day off work when she finally did take her to the hospital, and took several more days off to care for her daughter, meet with me, and with the specialist. So, I doubt that it was for financial reasons. Mom never brought up religious reasons to not seek help, and did finally seek help, so reason number two is out. That leaves reason three. There was no evidence of a boyfriend in the home, and mom never mentioned one, so who broke her arm....the mom? The grandmother(who was the only other caregiver)? The nine year old sibling? All of them told the same story...so who was lying?

I didn't feel at the time that I had enough evidence to support the allegation of medical neglect. Plus the fact that there were so many other cases to work on, I was probably in a hurry to get the case off my desk. I spoke with my supervisor and he agreed with me about my findings. The little girl was bonded with her mom, so I didn't think that mom could hurt her.

Six months later mom beat her to death.

She hit her so hard, that she tore a hole in her little heart and she bled to death. When questioned by the police, she admitted to breaking her arm. I left protective services within a month after her death.

Last Friday, at the end of her homicide trial, mom was found guilty of Felony Murder. It carries a life sentence, no parole.

And now for the realization.

I have been wondering for a while now why I've been depressed. Tonight, while watching t.v., it came to me, or I finally admitted it to myself. I'm depressed because it's my fault. I'm the reason that little girl is dead. I was in too big a hurry to close that case. I missed the signs. I didn't trust my intuition. My intuition that took me so far in my career. I relied on it in so many cases to push further, ask more questions. And it was always right. I have commendations for my work.

I failed that little girl. And she's dead. I killed her.

Do they think we're stupid?!?!?

" Lawyer: Rove didn't mean to delete email"

Yep...that's right....he's completely innocent...just like he was innocent the last time. How long do we put up with this administration and it's lying, conniving, sneaky, pathetic weasels?

ugh....this makes me sick.

Call me juvenile...but I don't think I can vote for a president named Tommy.