I am still amazed at the amount of shallowness in 2005.
1. There is now a website for 'beautiful people'. You have to be beautiful by societal standards and those that are already members get to vote on whether you are beautiful 'enough' to get into the club. Do people really judge others on looks alone? Of course we have all heard the joke, 'it must have been an ugly person that said "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" '. It kind of reminds me of Christians who believe that they are the only ones getting into heaven...As if five billion non-Christians are all wrong.
2. I keep a favorites list of blogs I enjoy reading. Today, I read one of them by a very funny guy from NYC who made the mistake of posting a picture of himself with a big person in the background....he titled it 'most unfortunate background'. Now really...what was the point of that? Does it make him feel better about himself to rag and ridicule someone different than him? Would he have titled the picture the same had it been a black person, or an anorexic person? I just don't get it. I wonder if he'd be invited into the 'beautiful people' club??
3. How many times have I heard....'you are so beautiful, if only you'd lose weight'. Excuse me??!!?? This is usually from my very thin, very beautiful(by societal standards) sister. Of course, what she usually doesn't tell you is that she's had her tummy tucked, her back liposuctioned, her nose re-built, and her boobs done. I think she's going to have her ass done next. And she's definitely a pseudo-Christian.
Face it people, as a society, we are getting bigger....either learn to love us...
Or we'll sit on you.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
No baby yet....dammit!
My god...who knew that being a labor coach could be sooooooooo hard! For those just tuning in, my best friend is pregnant...and didn't know it until she was eight months!
Now this is a woman that is very educated, very eloquent, and more calm than anyone I have ever met.
Not any longer.
Her brother warned me that when she's in pain she is mean...he wasn't exaggerating. Last Friday, at 1:30 in the morning, my phone rings. I grab for it, almost falling out of bed, because I have been waiting for this call. I knew it was her, panting into the phone, 'I think I'm in labor'.
I jump up, grab my hospital bag(all the magazines say you should have a bag packed for a day of waiting in the hospital), let the dogs out to pee, and GO.
Now, mind you, I have been urging her for the past two weeks to pack HER hospital bag, but alas, she hasn't...and now, we have to waste what we believe to be precious minutes, packing her bag. It took us over an hour to get out of the apartment.
If you have ever seen the movie, 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer', with Kristy Swanson, there is a scene where Paul Reubens(Pee Wee Herman), playing a vampiric sidekick to Rutger Hauer, is stabbed, and does his best comedic death. That's exactly what she sounded like every time we hit a bump in the road, or she felt a contraction coming on. I'm sure she didn't appreciate my giggling every time this happened, but my response to fear, worry, nervousness, is to laugh. (I know, real mature, but hey, I'm only human.)
So, we stay at the hospital until 7:00am when they send us home. She was dehydrated, which brought on her contractions. She asked me to take her to her 11:00am doctor's appointment, and I figured, what the hell, I certainly wasn't going to go to work on an hour's sleep. I drop her off, call my boss to beg off the day, and head home for a nap.
When I go back to pick her up, you would swear that the baby was crowning, she was in such a dramatic state. Her doctor sends us back to the hospital and tells her that they are going to induce her labor since she is so uncomfortable and her blood pressure is rising.
THREE DAYS LATER THEY SEND HER HOME! No baby, no dilation, no effacing of the cervix. She is just fine and the baby clearly isn't ready. But it's too late, those three days were torture for me. Never have I ever seen anyone so rude and ignorant in my entire life! You would have thought that she was a high school dropout that was raised by a pack of wolves. She was demanding, rude, loud, cursing, and obnoxious. She clearly forgot what grammar in the English language was designed for. Many years ago, when I had my guts opened wide for gall bladder surgery, I never would have thought to be so rude, and crude, telling the nurses how to do their job, then telling them when it wasn't done my way.
I KNOW I should be more patient, I mean, she is trying to have a baby....but damn, have a bit of class! The thing is, they tried to induce with about five different methods, nothing worked, and she says she felt no pain. Then why be so mean?!?!?!? There was even one point on Sunday when she called me her little concubine and told me to 'get over here and put some oil on my legs and feet.'
Is SHE kidding me?!?! The last thing I wanted to do at that point, was rub her huge feet and hairy legs. But like a good labor coach, I kept my mouth shut and did it...all the time thinking, 'if you weren't in the hospital, I'd choke you.'
She went back into the hospital today for another round of induction. I went to work. Another friend of her's stood in as the labor coach. They sent her home about an hour ago, with no baby. At least I didn't have to be the concubine today.
I'm not sure where my friend has gone, but I sure hope she comes back soon...Maybe after the little guy is born.
Am I over the edge? Should I be doing more? Who knows...I'm just glad I got to spend the day with some sort of normalcy. But tomorrow, in the famous words of Scarlet O'Hara, is another day.
Now this is a woman that is very educated, very eloquent, and more calm than anyone I have ever met.
Not any longer.
Her brother warned me that when she's in pain she is mean...he wasn't exaggerating. Last Friday, at 1:30 in the morning, my phone rings. I grab for it, almost falling out of bed, because I have been waiting for this call. I knew it was her, panting into the phone, 'I think I'm in labor'.
I jump up, grab my hospital bag(all the magazines say you should have a bag packed for a day of waiting in the hospital), let the dogs out to pee, and GO.
Now, mind you, I have been urging her for the past two weeks to pack HER hospital bag, but alas, she hasn't...and now, we have to waste what we believe to be precious minutes, packing her bag. It took us over an hour to get out of the apartment.
If you have ever seen the movie, 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer', with Kristy Swanson, there is a scene where Paul Reubens(Pee Wee Herman), playing a vampiric sidekick to Rutger Hauer, is stabbed, and does his best comedic death. That's exactly what she sounded like every time we hit a bump in the road, or she felt a contraction coming on. I'm sure she didn't appreciate my giggling every time this happened, but my response to fear, worry, nervousness, is to laugh. (I know, real mature, but hey, I'm only human.)
So, we stay at the hospital until 7:00am when they send us home. She was dehydrated, which brought on her contractions. She asked me to take her to her 11:00am doctor's appointment, and I figured, what the hell, I certainly wasn't going to go to work on an hour's sleep. I drop her off, call my boss to beg off the day, and head home for a nap.
When I go back to pick her up, you would swear that the baby was crowning, she was in such a dramatic state. Her doctor sends us back to the hospital and tells her that they are going to induce her labor since she is so uncomfortable and her blood pressure is rising.
THREE DAYS LATER THEY SEND HER HOME! No baby, no dilation, no effacing of the cervix. She is just fine and the baby clearly isn't ready. But it's too late, those three days were torture for me. Never have I ever seen anyone so rude and ignorant in my entire life! You would have thought that she was a high school dropout that was raised by a pack of wolves. She was demanding, rude, loud, cursing, and obnoxious. She clearly forgot what grammar in the English language was designed for. Many years ago, when I had my guts opened wide for gall bladder surgery, I never would have thought to be so rude, and crude, telling the nurses how to do their job, then telling them when it wasn't done my way.
I KNOW I should be more patient, I mean, she is trying to have a baby....but damn, have a bit of class! The thing is, they tried to induce with about five different methods, nothing worked, and she says she felt no pain. Then why be so mean?!?!?!? There was even one point on Sunday when she called me her little concubine and told me to 'get over here and put some oil on my legs and feet.'
Is SHE kidding me?!?! The last thing I wanted to do at that point, was rub her huge feet and hairy legs. But like a good labor coach, I kept my mouth shut and did it...all the time thinking, 'if you weren't in the hospital, I'd choke you.'
She went back into the hospital today for another round of induction. I went to work. Another friend of her's stood in as the labor coach. They sent her home about an hour ago, with no baby. At least I didn't have to be the concubine today.
I'm not sure where my friend has gone, but I sure hope she comes back soon...Maybe after the little guy is born.
Am I over the edge? Should I be doing more? Who knows...I'm just glad I got to spend the day with some sort of normalcy. But tomorrow, in the famous words of Scarlet O'Hara, is another day.
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