Busy Month Ahead

November is going to be a very busy month.

I've decided that I'm going to try my hand at writing! Apparently November is the National Novel Writing Month, check it out here. The goal is to write a 175 page fiction novel(50,000 words) between November 1st and November 30th. I figured that comes out to approximately six pages per day. The goal isn't to write a best seller(though hey, wouldn't THAT be cool) but to complete the novel.

So last week I went to the library and checked out several books on HOW to write fiction to give me some help. Yeah, yeah, I know...I'm probably biting off more than I can chew....but if I never try, I'll never know if I can do it. Doesn't everyone who writes a blog secretly wish they could write a book? Or get paid for what they do? Some might say, you can't even write in your blog every day, how are you going to manage six pages a day?? Well, I don't write in my blog everyday because life these days is kinda boring, and not all that interesting. A book however, just might be interesting....who knows.

My other project, to be completed before Christmas, is to write a family cookbook. My grandmother was the most amazing southern cook. And when she died, a lot of her recipes died with her. My mother and I are the only ones that know most of her secrets. I'm the only one who can make her chicken and dumplings. Rich, velvety broth with chunks of chicken and thick, homemade noodles that melt on your tongue. My mother and I are setting her recipes to paper, which is a chore in itself....anyone who knows a great southern cook knows they don't ever measure anything. A hen egg of grease, a pinch of that, or add it until it just feels right.

The goal with this project is to write them all down, put them in a book with anecdotes, pictures, etc. and give copies to my numerous nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins....all of whom loved my grandmother's cooking. Tradition is very important to my family. And I guess I'd like to be remembered as the one who shared history.

A lot of the work for the cookbook is finished. My mother and I spent a part of every weekend for the past few months, deciding which recipes to include, writing out the recipe, and reminescing. We looked through hundreds of old photos to find great pictures of my grandmother. Now what I have to do is put everything on the computer, create the layout, and truck it down to Kinko's to have it copied and bound. It might cost a small fortune, but man....I can't wait to see the finished product! I think my grandmother would be proud.

And hopefully, future generations will be able to love my grandmother through her memory and all the savory dishes they will make for years to come.

*sniff*....I'm such a sap.

Turning 40...*&%#*##@!

I hate to admit it...it's like crossing a threshold, becoming a grown up when you never expected to grow up. It's like having to admit that you don't bend in all the ways you used to bend....isn't it?

I'm turning 40 ten weeks from today.

There. I said it.

I can't believe I'M turning 40!! I don't feel 40. I don't look 40. Is 40 really the new 30?

What happens next? I think I have arthritis...but only in my right index finger. Is that the beginning of the end? Will my knees go next? Hip replacement? Oh God...do your teeth start falling out about now????

I had a complete physical a few months back. My glucose level was perfect. My bad cholesterol was low and my good cholesterol was high. Are those going to change the first of the new year? Am I going to have to get one of those little medication holders so I can keep track of my many(non existant at the present) medications by days? You know the ones...seven little plastic compartments labeled with the days of the week. Hell, I can barely swallow a daily vitamin, much less remember to actually take the damn things every day. OH MY GOD....am I going to have to start drinking Metamucil to maintain regularity?!?!?! I think I have high blood pressure...

Breathe in...Breathe out....relax....take a deep breath....it will be alright. You can do this. Piece of cake. Will I have to cut out cake from my diet? It will be alright.

But will it? Will I find a man at my age? Will I have to start wearing layers to fend off the hot flashes? Is that an age spot on the back of my hand?!? It looks like a big freckle...can I fake it? Pretend I don't see it? Or just lie and say it IS a big freckle?

My God! Is that a gray pubic hair?!?! Time to go Brazilian. Hide the evidence. Start wearing mascara every day to hide the two white eyelashes. Does this mean I'm going to get those long wiry eyebrow hairs that my mother makes me trim on her?

Dare I let my hair grow out and stop coloring it? I haven't seen my natural hair color in about ten years....how much gray is really up there? Why do I still suffer from acne at 40???

And what about all the plans I had before I was 40? I'm not married. I haven't had any children. I haven't even gotten my master's degree yet. I haven't been to Italy or Ireland. I haven't made a million dollars yet. I haven't invented a cure for cancer yet. What the hell have I been doing for 40 years???

I don't even know how to knit...how will I be able to grow old?? Will I grow old gracefully? Or will I grow old and gray, saggy and wrinkled?

Crap.

Thursday....

Now this is some funny shit....thanks to my friend Jim for this. It's amazing what you can find on the internet when you are home sick.

Ugh

And so it begins. The first tell tale signs....itchy eyes, runny nose, lots of sneezing. You think it's just allergies, so you grab for the Claritin. But it doesn't seem to do much. Hmmmm, you think, checking the expiration date, surely it's just the pills gone bad.

But wait....there's the tingle....not paying any attention to the tingle in your lip, you haven't had a cold sore/fever blister in years, so you miss the tip off. Damn. Too late for Abreva or Lysine to make a difference....

And then it hits you full blast. As you are driving to work, and having a hard time focusing on the road. Shit...the flu.

You try your best to stick it out for a full eight hours, but you just can't do it. Maybe going home early, you can get some extra sleep and be fine tomorrow. A sweet dream that was.

And so you toss and turn all night, the snot running from one side of your head to the other as soon as you roll over, clearing one sinus as it fills the other. Dirty tissue forming a halo around your head, because you can't throw them away....that's where the dog gets them and eats them. You try to keep breathing by opening your mouth, but then both sinuses clog and you sneeze, gelatinous goo running down your face, your chin, to drip onto your jammies. Fuck, just get up. Scrounging through the medicine cabinet, looking for anything that will help end the misery. Nope, those are expired, darvocet...hmmm..will I stop breathing if I take a few to be able to sleep?? Keep checking. Ah....Night time flu medicine. A gift from the Gods. And the box is almost full. Taking two, you finally slip into a fitful sleep around 4am.

And at 6, the dogs want to go out to pee.

I didn't make it to work today....I think I'm dying. I wonder if I'll be well enough tomorrow to go to work.

I don't think so.

Are you kidding me???

The audacity of small minded folk in this country continues to amaze me. I bet she voted for Bush, too.

Ugh.