Thirty-nine. Oh God. I'm thirty-nine today. How did that happen? It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from college. I'm certainly not where I thought I would be at thirty-nine.
I was so sure that I would be married with children by now. I was so sure that I would have a big house in suburbs by now. Where did all the time go?
I can remember when my mom turned 39 for the first time. Yep, she's one of those women who has been 39 for a thousand years. She seemed so old back then. I was twelve years old, arguing with her about her dying her hair. I was so sure that she should be proud of those gray hairs, representing her wisdom. Vowing that I would NEVER dye my hair. Ahhhh...I was so naive back then.
When I started going gray at 18, I was proud of them. I thought they made me appear older than I was. But what I didn't realize back then was that by 39, my mom had grown completely white-haired. Much earlier than most women.
Damn her and her genetics! I am more than 50% gray and have dyed my hair since I was 30. And I completely understand her need to dye. It's not that she wasn't proud of her age or wisdom. It was simply that she didn't want to look OLDER than she was!
I don't think anyone really realizes how much genetics plays a role in who we become. At least physically. There's a lot that I've gotten from my parents. Most of it bad, but with knowledge, comes power. Ha.
Let's see....premature gray hair from both of my parents, overweight, my current need for reading glasses, periodontal disease(which I have been able to fight off due to the knowledge that it was coming), high blood pressure(which I overcame by losing weight), most likely Type II diabetes sometime in the future, and most likely thinning hair when I'm older. My father also had very soft enamel on his teeth...and even with brushing like a mad man several times a day, his teeth would crack and break. This is also genetic, and I fear that there will come a day when my teeth will do the same. (Thank God for good dental insurance, you will never know.)
But even after all of those not-so-nice traits I will eventually have inherited, there are at least one thousand and one oh-so-very-nice traits I have inherited from them as well....
My mother's smile, my father's laugh lines around my eyes, my mother's elegant hands, big boobs(those are from my mom), my father's great cholesterol level.
And then the learned traits...which are the most important. My parents' senses of humor and the ability to laugh at myself, my mother's class, my father's sense to always stop and help someone in need, their morals, their idea of right and wrong, their love of family, and a hard work ethic.
I am actually crying right now as I write this....because I always focus on the negative traits that I have inherited and have never stopped to think of all the truly wonderful gifts that my parents have given me. They lead by example, never lying, cheating, or stealing. And in the world today, that's a rare trait alone.
This past Thanksgiving, just before my parents left for Florida, my mother remarked to me..."you're going to be 39 next month! We'll be the same age!" And my response back was "No way...I'll never be as old as you, I'll be 29 again!"
I think I've changed my mind....it certainly would be an honor to me if people thought of me as fondly as they do my mother...at any age. And I am truly blessed to be so much like my mom. And I guess it really doesn't matter that I'm not where I thought I would be. I am where I am. And at 39, I hopefully, have a lot of years ahead of me to change what needs to be changed.
I think I'm going to go call my mom now, and wish her a happy anniversary(of my birth), and a Happy New Year.
Oh, and Happy New Year to you.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Whew! It's over....
Finally. Three parties in two days, three Christmas dinners in two days, three desserts made, three appetizers made,and twenty-seven presents later. It's finally over.
When did the insanity begin?? Probably the year that my parents decided to become snowbirds and leave before the holiday season every year.
It used to be that every Christmas was spent at my parents' home. But now that they are in Florida six months out of the year, we scramble to decide where Christmas should be held.
Of course, my crazy sister has the biggest house, so it's usually there. But due to her insanity and mood swings, I try my best to find an alternative. So, I go to my aunt and uncle's house on Christmas Eve. I love my aunt and uncle with all my heart. Their three son's were the brothers I never had growing up. But they are all married with children now. So it's a madhouse over there too. It's nice catching up with them. We all have very different lives and only see each other a few times a year. When we were kids, we spent every weekend, every holiday, and every summer together. They dated my girlfriends, and I screwed around with all their male buddies.
I learned not to be afraid of snakes because of them. They learned how to smoke a joint because of me. Of course, I had nothing to do with Chris catching his ass on fire trying to light a fart. Nope, not me. And they had nothing to do with me getting my nose bit by their crazy dog, trying to smell his Dorito breath.
Man, I could blog everyday for a month and not cover all the insane stuff we used to do as kids together.
I certainly didn't plan on this post being about my cousins. It was supposed to be about my crazy holiday weekend. But, let's just say I'm very, very happy that it's over.
Now I just have to get through the New Year's weekend. Which, incidently includes my birthday. But that will definitely be another post.
When did the insanity begin?? Probably the year that my parents decided to become snowbirds and leave before the holiday season every year.
It used to be that every Christmas was spent at my parents' home. But now that they are in Florida six months out of the year, we scramble to decide where Christmas should be held.
Of course, my crazy sister has the biggest house, so it's usually there. But due to her insanity and mood swings, I try my best to find an alternative. So, I go to my aunt and uncle's house on Christmas Eve. I love my aunt and uncle with all my heart. Their three son's were the brothers I never had growing up. But they are all married with children now. So it's a madhouse over there too. It's nice catching up with them. We all have very different lives and only see each other a few times a year. When we were kids, we spent every weekend, every holiday, and every summer together. They dated my girlfriends, and I screwed around with all their male buddies.
I learned not to be afraid of snakes because of them. They learned how to smoke a joint because of me. Of course, I had nothing to do with Chris catching his ass on fire trying to light a fart. Nope, not me. And they had nothing to do with me getting my nose bit by their crazy dog, trying to smell his Dorito breath.
Man, I could blog everyday for a month and not cover all the insane stuff we used to do as kids together.
I certainly didn't plan on this post being about my cousins. It was supposed to be about my crazy holiday weekend. But, let's just say I'm very, very happy that it's over.
Now I just have to get through the New Year's weekend. Which, incidently includes my birthday. But that will definitely be another post.
Monday, December 19, 2005
An interesting Monday.
All day yesterday I was trying to figure out a way to get out of going to work. Unfortunately, I got a new abuse referral on Friday at the end of the day so I figured I had better go in and go see the kid. Sometimes it sucks to be dedicated.
Anyway. On my way to work(I live one town over), there are a few stoplights not working. I never even thought about the fact that my office is in the same area. There was no power at work. We hung around in the mostly-dark office waiting for the director to direct. She finally told us to leave. Yay!! I mean, who can't use an extra day off work around the holidays, right? So a few of my co-workers and I decide to go have breakfast at a cute little country kitchen. Mmmm....crispy corned beef hash and scrambled eggs. This is one of the rare occasions where I actually order corned beef. It was so good. The coffee was yummy. I didn't want to leave. I could have sat there for hours just chatting, and drinking coffee.
But leave I did. And headed over to a local store for some Christmas shopping. I have just a few gifts to buy yet....for those hard to buy for people. I spent an hour there, and didn't buy a thing. But I did run into two clients. I'm standing there looking at these pathetic Christmas Cacti, wanting so badly to buy one, but knowing as dried out and pruny as they were, they were a lost cause. Why do stores do that? It's such a waste.
And as I'm standing there, someone says hello. One of my clients that left her 6 year old home alone all day while she worked over the summer. And all I could think was, where's the kid now if you are at the store shopping? I didn't ask. I figured that she knew enough not to leave the kid alone anymore, so I figured she knew enough not to stop and say hello if the kid was home alone again. Or could that have been her diabolical plan to throw me off her scent?!?!?
I decided to go home and take a nap with the dogs, because, well, just because I could! I love naps. I could take a nap everyday if I could. I got home, let the dogs out to play for a while and then we snuggled up to take a nap. They are such good bed buddies. sleeping at the end of the bed to keep my feet warm.
When I woke up, I made a sandwich, and decided to do the dishes, which had been piling up for a while. But there was no water. WHAT??? Yep, that's right...no water. My neighbor called and informed that a watermain just three streets over had broken and they didn't know how long this would go on. I had to run to the store to get bottled water to give to the dogs. I mean, I can drink milk and orange juice...but I don't think that would be too good for them.
So here it is, after 10 at night, and there is still no water. I did go driving around 9:30 and saw that the city was still out there in the freezing cold trying to correct the problem. Gotta thank them for that. But this is the third or fourth time this year that there have been problems with the water. And three or four times this that our power has gone out for more than a day. Hmmmm....I usually like living in a small town, but this one has some serious problems.
I bought enough bottled water to make coffee in the morning. I just hope it comes on in time for me to shower before work. I have court tomorrow and just the thought of going to work without showering grosses me out.
Crap.
Anyway. On my way to work(I live one town over), there are a few stoplights not working. I never even thought about the fact that my office is in the same area. There was no power at work. We hung around in the mostly-dark office waiting for the director to direct. She finally told us to leave. Yay!! I mean, who can't use an extra day off work around the holidays, right? So a few of my co-workers and I decide to go have breakfast at a cute little country kitchen. Mmmm....crispy corned beef hash and scrambled eggs. This is one of the rare occasions where I actually order corned beef. It was so good. The coffee was yummy. I didn't want to leave. I could have sat there for hours just chatting, and drinking coffee.
But leave I did. And headed over to a local store for some Christmas shopping. I have just a few gifts to buy yet....for those hard to buy for people. I spent an hour there, and didn't buy a thing. But I did run into two clients. I'm standing there looking at these pathetic Christmas Cacti, wanting so badly to buy one, but knowing as dried out and pruny as they were, they were a lost cause. Why do stores do that? It's such a waste.
And as I'm standing there, someone says hello. One of my clients that left her 6 year old home alone all day while she worked over the summer. And all I could think was, where's the kid now if you are at the store shopping? I didn't ask. I figured that she knew enough not to leave the kid alone anymore, so I figured she knew enough not to stop and say hello if the kid was home alone again. Or could that have been her diabolical plan to throw me off her scent?!?!?
I decided to go home and take a nap with the dogs, because, well, just because I could! I love naps. I could take a nap everyday if I could. I got home, let the dogs out to play for a while and then we snuggled up to take a nap. They are such good bed buddies. sleeping at the end of the bed to keep my feet warm.
When I woke up, I made a sandwich, and decided to do the dishes, which had been piling up for a while. But there was no water. WHAT??? Yep, that's right...no water. My neighbor called and informed that a watermain just three streets over had broken and they didn't know how long this would go on. I had to run to the store to get bottled water to give to the dogs. I mean, I can drink milk and orange juice...but I don't think that would be too good for them.
So here it is, after 10 at night, and there is still no water. I did go driving around 9:30 and saw that the city was still out there in the freezing cold trying to correct the problem. Gotta thank them for that. But this is the third or fourth time this year that there have been problems with the water. And three or four times this that our power has gone out for more than a day. Hmmmm....I usually like living in a small town, but this one has some serious problems.
I bought enough bottled water to make coffee in the morning. I just hope it comes on in time for me to shower before work. I have court tomorrow and just the thought of going to work without showering grosses me out.
Crap.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Busy Week
It sure has been a busy week, and I haven't even started my Christmas shopping yet.
I guess that's why I haven't posted anything lately. Work has picked up and that really sucks right around the holidays. Not that it's EVER ok to abuse your children, but why the hell do you have to do it right before Christmas?? I filed two petitions to terminate parental rights on Monday. One for torturing the children, and one for abandonment. Sick fucks.
On Wednesday while I was in court, I got the call that my friend, Carol's, husband died. This past summer she, I, and two other co-workers went up north for a weekend and we had an amazing time. She's an amazing lady and her husband was a sweetheart. After us four girls came back from up north, she and Chuck went up north for their annual two week vacation. While up north, he suffered a seizure. At first, the doctor thought it might be a reaction from some new medication he was on. But after the CT scan, realized that his brain was riddled with cancer. Lung cancer that had metastized to his brain and liver. He lived for three and a half months, which is about three months longer than they expected.
Today is the viewing, and tomorrow is the funeral. I have a work presentation to give today with a church group, then I get to spend part of the day with her at the funeral home. These things make me so sad. My heart aches for Carol. I can't imagine her pain.
I guess that's why I haven't posted anything lately. Work has picked up and that really sucks right around the holidays. Not that it's EVER ok to abuse your children, but why the hell do you have to do it right before Christmas?? I filed two petitions to terminate parental rights on Monday. One for torturing the children, and one for abandonment. Sick fucks.
On Wednesday while I was in court, I got the call that my friend, Carol's, husband died. This past summer she, I, and two other co-workers went up north for a weekend and we had an amazing time. She's an amazing lady and her husband was a sweetheart. After us four girls came back from up north, she and Chuck went up north for their annual two week vacation. While up north, he suffered a seizure. At first, the doctor thought it might be a reaction from some new medication he was on. But after the CT scan, realized that his brain was riddled with cancer. Lung cancer that had metastized to his brain and liver. He lived for three and a half months, which is about three months longer than they expected.
Today is the viewing, and tomorrow is the funeral. I have a work presentation to give today with a church group, then I get to spend part of the day with her at the funeral home. These things make me so sad. My heart aches for Carol. I can't imagine her pain.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
A Generic Season's Greetings
Ah....back in the day, it was rare to hear someone say "Happy Holidays", or "Season's Greetings". If you were raised celebrating Christmas, you heard "Merry Christmas", and if you were Jewish, you heard, "Happy Hannukah".
It's not that simple anymore. With the increase in Multi-cultural cities and neighborhoods, with the increase in lawsuits, and the increase in different faiths/religions/paths...you run the risk of offending someone by saying one of those time honored salutations.
There's Ramadan, Kwanza(from Africa), Kwanzaa(African American), Christmas, Hannukah, Yule....and I'm sure there are more, but....who can keep up??
However, while I was growing up it was customary to hear "Merry Christmas", I was a strange kid...I always said, "Happy Holidays". Why you may ask? Well...my mother ran a law firm when I was a kid and her boss was Jewish. Once, when I went to my mother's office with her during the holiday season, I told him "Merry Christmas". He very quickly pointed out to me that not everyone was Christian and not everyone celebrated Christmas. He wasn't very nice about it and made me cry.
On the way home, my mother explained that he was Jewish and that he celebrated Hannukah. That explained why she always worked on Christmas Eve. He was gracious enough to give her Christmas Day off, but never Christmas Eve.
The next year, I was very careful to tell him "Happy Hannukah" and realized...you really can't know what holiday folks celebrate. And I felt so crappy offending him that I began just saying a generic season's greetings to everyone. Even today, I always buy Season's Greetings holiday cards to mail out, even though they usually just sit in the box, never being mailed or opened by friends and loved ones.
So, with that said, Ramadan Mubarak!(Had to look that one up), Happy Kwanza(a)!, Happy Hannukah!, Happy Yule!, and Merry Christmas!
Oh, and Happy Festivus!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Ten things....
10 Random things about me you may not know.
1. I am the youngest of three girls.
2. I have two tattoos.
3. I have a degree in biology and psychology.
4. I sleep on the right side of the bed. (I must)
5. I don't wear jewelry.
6. I know how to eat with chopsticks.
7. I drive a Jeep Cherokee.
8. I travel, a LOT.
9. My mom is my best friend.
10. I wear a size 42DD bra.
9 Places I've visited.
1. Dominica
2. St. Martin
3. Austria
4. Zurich, Switzerland
5. Las Cruces, NM
6. St. Lucia
7. Honduras
8. Dominican Republic
9. Antigua
8 Ways to win my heart
1. Love my dogs.
2. Make me laugh.
3. Compliment my cooking.
4. Hold my hand during the movie.
5. Call me in the middle of the day to tell me that you miss me.
6. Tell me I'm beautiful, and mean it.
7. Fall in love with my family.
8. Be kind to others, especially old people.
7 Things I must do before I die.
1. Get a maid.
2. Travel to Ireland.
3. Get married. It's too hard to do that after I'm dead.
4. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef.
5. Learn Spanish.
7. Learn French.
6 Things I'm afraid of
1. People not liking me.
2. Getting old.
3. Losing my parents.
4. Cancer.
5. Losing my luggage on vacation.
6. Breaking a bone.
5 Things I don't like
1. Liars.
2. People who talk about you behind your back.
3. Crumbs in the butter.
4. People who are mean to animals.
5. President Bush.
4 Ways to turn me off
1. Don't brush your teeth.
2. Be rude.
3. Be disrespectful.
4. Belittle me.
3 Things I do everyday
1. Feed my dogs.
2. Shower.
3. Brush my teeth. (several times)
2 Things that make me happy.
1. My critters.
2. Unexpected gifts!
1 Thing that's on my mind right now.
Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Oooohhh...and Survivor's on tonight!
1. I am the youngest of three girls.
2. I have two tattoos.
3. I have a degree in biology and psychology.
4. I sleep on the right side of the bed. (I must)
5. I don't wear jewelry.
6. I know how to eat with chopsticks.
7. I drive a Jeep Cherokee.
8. I travel, a LOT.
9. My mom is my best friend.
10. I wear a size 42DD bra.
9 Places I've visited.
1. Dominica
2. St. Martin
3. Austria
4. Zurich, Switzerland
5. Las Cruces, NM
6. St. Lucia
7. Honduras
8. Dominican Republic
9. Antigua
8 Ways to win my heart
1. Love my dogs.
2. Make me laugh.
3. Compliment my cooking.
4. Hold my hand during the movie.
5. Call me in the middle of the day to tell me that you miss me.
6. Tell me I'm beautiful, and mean it.
7. Fall in love with my family.
8. Be kind to others, especially old people.
7 Things I must do before I die.
1. Get a maid.
2. Travel to Ireland.
3. Get married. It's too hard to do that after I'm dead.
4. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef.
5. Learn Spanish.
7. Learn French.
6 Things I'm afraid of
1. People not liking me.
2. Getting old.
3. Losing my parents.
4. Cancer.
5. Losing my luggage on vacation.
6. Breaking a bone.
5 Things I don't like
1. Liars.
2. People who talk about you behind your back.
3. Crumbs in the butter.
4. People who are mean to animals.
5. President Bush.
4 Ways to turn me off
1. Don't brush your teeth.
2. Be rude.
3. Be disrespectful.
4. Belittle me.
3 Things I do everyday
1. Feed my dogs.
2. Shower.
3. Brush my teeth. (several times)
2 Things that make me happy.
1. My critters.
2. Unexpected gifts!
1 Thing that's on my mind right now.
Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Oooohhh...and Survivor's on tonight!
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